My name is Bob Grant, and I’m a Professional Life Coach. For over twenty years now, I’ve sat across from women who love a man they can’t seem to reach. This is the path that led me to them.
1
Growing up
The boy who was told he wasn’t trying
As a boy I was deeply intuitive. I felt things other people seemed to walk right past. Yet in school, the harder I pushed, the more I kept hearing the same word. Lazy. You’re not trying.
I knew better. I was trying with everything I had. I just had no way to explain what was going wrong.
Then a psychologist sat me down, tested me, and finally gave me an answer. I had a learning disability. Once she put a name to it, she taught me ways to work around it.
That single moment changed everything for me. For the first time, somebody had looked closer instead of telling me to push harder. I have never forgotten how that felt.
2
College
The professor who proved problems have answers
Almost by accident, I signed up for a counseling class, and the professor brought the whole subject to life.
He taught me something I have held onto ever since. Even the messy, abstract problems, the ones buried inside relationships, really do have solutions. You simply have to know how to look for them.
By the time I left that classroom, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life.
3
Early in my career
The mother who taught me no problem is hopeless
One day a mother brought her son to me. He was severely mentally ill, and she told me, with everything she had, that she would do whatever it took. Her son was not going to spend his life in an institution.
For three or four years we worked side by side. And I watched that young man go from severely impaired to enrolling in college.
That mother gave me something I have carried into every relationship I have worked on since. Nearly any problem has a way through, as long as one person is willing to do the work and another knows where to look.
4
The turning point
The one hair stylist who changed everything
She was thirty-five. Warm, successful, and totally baffled about why she couldn’t get married. She came to me for help. I handed her a few things to try, they worked, and she told her friends.
That is the moment my real calling found me. Almost overnight I had a steady stream of women, thirty-five to forty-five, who dated constantly yet never found lasting love, or who were in relationships and couldn’t understand why they kept slipping through their fingers.
And I saw that I could give these women something almost no one else could. The truth of what was actually going on inside the man. The thing he felt deep down but could never put into words.
5
The books
The Woman Men Adore
After a couple of years, those women kept saying the same thing to me. You have to put this in a book.
So I finally did. The Woman Men Adore sold over two hundred thousand copies, and several more books followed.
What began as advice given across my desk turned into something I could place in the hands of women I would never get to meet.
6
My own life
Married, triplet boys, and a lesson I never wanted
Somewhere along the way I married and became a father to triplet boys. Raising them is one of the great joys of my life. As they got older, I moved more and more of my work online, so I could reach women no matter where they lived.
And then came my divorce.
I won’t pretend it was anything but painful. It showed me something I had only ever understood from the other side of the desk. Just how much it hurts to pour everything you have into a relationship and watch it fall apart anyway.
It taught me too that it genuinely takes two people to make a relationship work. I promised myself I would learn from that pain rather than let it define me. And I have never once forgotten how it feels to be the person who is struggling.
7
Now
For the woman who is tired of waiting
In these last few years, my heart has belonged to one particular woman. She has loved before. She has lived through heartache, or a marriage that didn’t last. And she senses there is still a window open to find her partner, the real one, before it quietly closes.
She is ready to do the work. And here is what I believe most deeply of all. Her past pain is not a mark against her. It is the very thing that will let her build something beautiful this time. She knows now what truly matters. She knows what she will no longer settle for.
That is the woman I serve. And after all of it, finding the real problem and showing her the way through, that is still the work I was put here to do.
